


The Jim who came back

by TFALokiwriter



Series: The Neferit II Duology [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character(s) of Color, Enterprise, Feels, Flashbacks, Forgiveness, Happy, Humor, Loss, M/M, Older Characters, Romulans, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 10:09:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6562204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFALokiwriter/pseuds/TFALokiwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Forty-three years after going into a universe where Jim finds <em>a</em> Spock who loves him, the end comes.</p>
<p>Started: 4/9/2016.<br/>Completed: 4/17/2016 at 10:20 AM.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Jim who came back

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Simple Feeling](https://archiveofourown.org/works/773992) by [Neferit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neferit/pseuds/Neferit). 
  * Inspired by [In the Hall of Ancient Memory](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3455678) by [Domina_Temporis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Domina_Temporis/pseuds/Domina_Temporis). 



> Jim's version of events on _On these shoulders are mistakes_.

Stepping through the portal, Jim knew he was leaving everyone else behind. His mother, his brother, his best friend, and that Jerk-son-of-a-Vulcan.  He was leaving his crew behind. He stepped through coming to terms with what mess everyone would have to pick up after his departure. Once he stepped through there was that Spock. One who loved him and reciprocated, bonded, later married the human way, and god was Jim happy. _Whatever happened after I left. . .  Spock got what he deserved,_ Jim had thought, _all of it._ He won't die because Jim was gone.

Jim was a admiral, currently. Retired though.

Spock had turned into a Ambassador after the death of Spock Prime.

"Hey Bones!" Jim greeted the old captain on the screen.

Leonard frowned then he had a sigh.

"I am busy right now, Jim." Leonard said.

"What could be more important right now than to wish me a happy birthday?" Jim asked.

Leonard's right eyebrow twitched.

"It isn't your birthday." Leonard said.

Jim had a hearty laugh.

"Can't get a white lie past you." Jim said.

"And you won't." Leonard said.

"Old Spock told me you had some funny stories that I hadn't heard regarding the future of the other you and other Spock." Jim said.

Leonard's right eyebrow twitched.

"No," Leonard said. "There is no way  I am tellin' you their future."

"What about their past?" Jim asked.

"Remind me what year it is." Leonard said.

"2307." Jim said.

The skin on Leonard's face turned white.

"Something wrong?" Jim asked, concerned.

Leonard shook his head.

"Nothin'." Leonard said.

"Well, you can tell me the past." Jim said.

Leonard stared at Jim.

"Are you serious?" Leonard asked.

"Yep." Jim said.

"How does it feel to be reminded of your father's sacrifice?" Leonard asked.

"Annoying." Jim said.

"Think of that being held over your head by your peers." Leonard said.

"Bones?"  Jim asked.

"Imagine having that on your shoulders for forty-five years and knowing you could have prevented it. A weight on your shoulders." Leonard said. "And only nearly dyin' could you have gotten over it."

"Bones, what is that about?" Jim asked, eyebrows raised.

"Well, your mother slapped  Spock." Jim had a look of shock on his face. "Sulu,Chekov, and Uhura drifted away from the Vulcan. In fact they had hard, bad feelings toward him. Carol requested transfer and her request  for transfer was granted. Scotty stayed with the ship and . . ." Leonard stopped drifting back to a memory. He was looking off into the distance with his hand cupping the side of his face. "Booones!"  Jim snapped his fingers twice. The doctor shook his head. "Other me and other Spock get really close. So close. As I told the older Spock, other me filled the void you left behind. Other Spock underwent Pon Farr. He refused to seek for a mate. Damn Vulcan was attempting to send himself to hell. Guess who had sex with him?"

"A Vulcan woman." Jim said.

"Wrong." Leonard said.

"What?" Jim said, in shock.

"Other me saved the Vulcan's life." Leonard said.

Jim had _not_ expected that. Honestly he had not. McCoy sleeping with Spock was insane and out of character. He would respect the Vulcan's wishes rather than help him. It went against the doctor's better judgement. He honestly expected that everyone drift apart and Spock return to New Vulcan to aid in his species population growth. Jim was left both puzzled and confused about this. It also made him pause staring blankly at the screen processing what he had been told. It was like he had been told that Nero had returned yet again (which he hadn't. For all they knew he was dead). to face them off.

"You wouldn't do that." Jim finally said.

Leonard nodded.

"Other Spock accidentally bonded with my counterpart. Despite cutting their bond, it was still there," Leonard said. "I mean . . .It was empathic in a way or maybe Psychic. I cannot be sure about that part, Jim. Other Spock saved other me more than you two save each others lives." Jim was in disbelief at that. "At one point Spock transferred his katra into other me's skull before his body was destroyed beyond repair. Other Spock wanted to be taken to the new great hall of thought. Other me refused and had other Spock's body cloned. You know other Spock tortured himself with the knowledge of what he did to you. Remember V'ger?"

Jim nodded.

"Other Spock went without other me," Leonard said. "That was before the _second_ time he died.  Other me was at a medical convention and . . . Oh god."

"What happened?" Jim asked.

_McCoy was taking  a sip of wine when he froze._

_His hand let go of the glass where it slipped from his grasp with a smirk.  He had been listening to a conversation debating about medical treatments. McCoy could feel see the world around him become a blur and voices become jumbled together. It was like he had been struck in the heart._

_"Spock.'" McCoy said._

_McCoy felt something had happened to the Vulcan. He didn't know how. He just knew. Something fatal. The doctor collasped to the ground in front of the trio. The woman came down to his level A woman shouted for a hypospray. She had one hand on the edge of his neck feeling a faint pulse. She demanded, really, for a hypospray and a mobile bed for the doctor._

_McCoy's eyes closed as the memories of young Spock and young Jim flashed before his eyes._

_Jim was engulfed into a mass of white light sharing one final smile at the doctor._

**_NO!_ **

"Even without being bonded. . . Other me started sufferin' the effects of losin'm a bonded," Leonard explained to the admiral. "Fortunately there was a treatment for it. It was created for humans because there were a few Vulcans out there who died on Vulcan who had been bonded to humans. The treatment was made by twelve Vulcan scientists in three days on Earth. McCoy insisted on gettin' back to the _Enterprise A_. I don't know much about psychology but losin' other Spock was like losin' you completely to him. It hit other me hard. It was like he hit rock bottom. The only thing he clun' to was hope that other Spock was not dead. There are several thin's you don't know that I took care of. Khan being among them. I deliberately insisted to find another planet other than the Australia hostile planet and leavin' Khan's supposed followers in stasis for a reason, Jim. Old Spock and  I made sure of that."

_McCoy was staring at the window which showed the Enterprise a good distance away from the anomaly approaching Earth._

_There was a solemn expression on the doctor's face that made McCoy look old and tired._

"In exchange for other Spock's life, they had to sacrifice two of their own.  Communications officer Lieutenant Decker and Science Officer Lieutenant LLyia. V'ger evolved and turned away from Earth's course, " Leonard explained. "After other Spock was dragged out of the machine . . . I never seen the other me so happy. Well, happy as I can get with demanding for answers why the Vulcan chose to sacrifice himself in the first place and hypoed him for some symptoms of a Datastream virus."

"Were they happy?" Jim asked.

"The bond repaired itself after other Spock was rescued," Leonard went on. "Other me wasn't told why he had fainted, explicitly, all they said was that he suffered a heart attack. Which was a straight forward lie. And  they claimed other me had a empathetic bond instead of sayin' he had a psychic bond. They refused to tell him. They believed other me had a week to live with the treatment for a human his age. Younger humans had a greater chance of survival and recovery. None of them later on needed the treatment.  Other Spock and other me defined each other, Jim, after you left. Other me made sure other Spock never got chocolate."

". . . So they were happy?" Jim asked, again.

"They missed you," Leonard said. "But  Sulu, Chekov, and Uhura never forgave other Spock. Ever. I can't say if they were happy. I am not the one to judge them."

"Jim, our starship to Symbelien is here." Spock's voice is heard off screen.

There was a knowing look on Leonard's face.

"Goodbye, Jim."  Leonard said.

"You have got to tell me what happened to everyone,Bones," Jim said. "Talk to you later."

Leonard had a sad expression on his face turning the screen off.

"Jim." Spock said.

"Coming, Spock." Jim said, getting up from the table.

Jim wasn't as young as he used to be.

Jim was seventy-three years old. His hair had grown gray,his knees were not as good as they used to be, and he became chubby. Spock was the only one of the two who remained skinny. Mostly because he was a vegatarian,Leonard would joke, not a meat eater. Spock would shoot a glare at the doctor and  "Meat is illogical." Spock appeared as though he had not aged a day except for the slowly growing wrinkles on his face, Spock appeared to be in his fifties and he was doing quite fine no thank you. There was a diplomatic meeting to occur on a planet discovered by Captain John Harriman five years ago on the _Enterprise B_.

Jim pushed the chair in after getting up to the side.

Jim picked up his luggage off the bed.

Jim looked around the room briefly then he went into the living room where the doors closed behind him.

* * *

The _Enterprise B_ had dark hallways instead of white halls. Jim's eyes had trouble adjusting while Spock had no problem. Jim took out his pair of glasses as Spock and he interlocked their arms together. Their free hands holding what luggage they needed. Jim and Spock had saved the galaxy more times than he could count. The _Enterprise A_ just wasn't the same without Leonard but M'Benga was a fine doctor that the man approved of. The lights on the _Enterprise A_ were somewhat dimmed between a mix of dark and white during Jim's day of commanding her after the _Enterprise_ was destroyed. It was a gift, Jim would say, from Star Fleet for saving them once again.

"Admiral, Ambassador," Commander Edward Showden said. "I have wondered a while of a great question on my mind."

"Shoot it." Jim said, looking over toward the man.

"My father once told me you died and came back," Showden said. "I want to know what being in the afterlife is like."

"Not that bad," Jim lied. "The service there is quite enjoyable. But apparently the men didn't want me flirting with their women."

"But not enough to stay forever." Spock added.

"Indeed." Jim said, with a nod.

Showden was a fan of the original _Enterprise_ crew. He had studied their missions in class, at least the ones in the history padds, and done an essay on at least five of them. Showden often wondered what was death like and then being brought back to life. The admiral's reply assured him that the afterlife will be a good place when his time comes around. In fact the Lieutenant felt honored to be taking the two to their temporary quarters. The _Enterprise B_ was under the command of Captain Patricia Chekov.

"And these are your quarters." Showden said, as he came to a stop.

"Thank you, Commander Showden." Spock said.

"My honor, Ambassador." Showden said.

The doors opened before the two then they went inside. A bad feeling rested on the young man's gut. It just did not sit well for him. He shook his head, turned away, then walked down the hall.

* * *

There was never a Nexus,  never a energy ribbon, and never a Doctor Soran that was attempting to return into the Nexus. Jim was still alive and well. But retired. Spock Prime had told Spock regarding the fate that could come up for this Jim. Spock did more than what he should have done  ensuring that the event did not occur. Leonard did not know of this because it was never brought up in the other universe.

Romulan's wanted a war.

Due to the years that passed because of Nero's arrival, Romulans had prepared themselves for all the right reasons for the day that Star Fleet would turn on them. They could launch an ambush against them. The Klingons could be wonderful allies. It was unexpected that the Klingons had sought peace with the federation rather than continuing their former ways against them. Just because they were losing a moon didn't mean anything to the Romulans. So they decided to internally distance the Klingons and Star Fleet. They infiltrated Star Fleet with a handful of spies genetically changed to appear human.

But Captain McCoy stopped them in their tracks.

It was like he expected them!

The bird of prey was cloaked around the planet of question awaiting for Ambassador Spock and Admiral Kirk.

They were going to hurt him on all sides of the equation.

* * *

They were taken when they were being beamed down to a planet that had diplomatic negotiations. Then they saw Romulans feet away from them with delighted expressions on their face. Commander  Kartart pressed a button on the console and spoke in Romulan. There were several phasers pointed in their direction of the two older men. It quickly occurred to the Admiral that they were abducted.

Kartart smiled turning away from the station.

"It is time for you to meet your creators." Kartart said.

"This is illogical of you," Spock said. "Please send us to our destination. And which creator are you referencing?"

"Forgive the Ambassador," Jim said. "But this is unjustified abducting us in the middle of transport."

_I love you, Spock._

"I will never forgive your friend for what he did." Kartart said.

_I to you, T'hy'la._

"It is illogical to kill us when we have no point of conflict with your empire." Spock added.

"No," Kartart said. "Your friend has botched many of our plans. You should know him. He used to patch you two up." The two security officers were now by his side holding their phasers in the men's direction. "How does it feel for your own friends mistake to lead to your death? He has been playing Mr Hero."

"What?" Was the only thing Jim could say.

"Botching everything we did to infiltrate your dear federation." Kartart said.

_No wonder Bones has been busy_ , Jim thought.

_Preventing certain events from occurring_ , Spock added, _that is logical_.

"Your friend will be next after you fall,"  Kartart said. "Ambassadors go first."

Spock and Jim shared a glance together.

Through the bond, Jim could feel the joy/satisfaction/love/content channeling through to him. He had served with this Vulcan for as long as he could and lived with him. He did not regret stepping through the portal into this world that was not quite his. Jim sent back a pulsing warm feeling in their bond toward the Vulcan. It wasn't fair for how they were going to go. But he didn't have a say in this no-win scenario. No back up. No one knew there was a Bird-Of-Prey cloaked in orbit.

They couldn't talk their way out of this.

_Thank you for being my T'hy'la, Jim._

_Thank you for loving me, Spock._

_Live long and prosper._

Spock and Jim turned their heads in the direction of Kartart.

"Live long and prosper." Spock said.

Spock was the first to be shot down by the phaser.

"No. . ." Jim said, his voice choked out in emotion seeing his fallen mate on the ground lifelessly.

"Admirals second," Kartart said. "Lieutenant. .  ." The Romulan looked over to the first officer with scars on his face. "I will do the honors."

The lieutenant nodded as Kartart took the phaser then aimed it at Jim's forehead.

"Any last words, James T. Kirk?" Kartart said. 

Jim stared at the Romulan, heartbroken, a void left in his heart, with anguish in his eyes.

"You will have hell to pay." Jim said.

Kartart pressed the trigger.

Jim's death was quick one. Jim's eyes were staring at the Romulan  and even in death they were still staring at him. The body tipped over landing on the floor with a thud. Jim's wound was rather circular and large sending blood down his forehead. There wasn't that light left in his eyes. James T. Kirk had left his body.

"Send their corpse down to the transporter they were going to,  Ensign Kallous." Kartart said.

"Yes, Commander." Kallous said.

The two bodies vanished in a haze of red, yellow, and orange where only on the transporter pad where two pools of blood. One of which was red and the other was a shade of green that was starting to turn  dark green. Our scene transitioned to the transporter down on the planet. The transporter pad was wide enough for a group of four. On the glass texture there was designs of Starfleet decorations. There was a representative awaiting the arrival of the two legendary men in front of the transporter. He expected to see the living in flesh Mr Spock and Mr Kirk. Instead two bodies laid on their backsides arrived. The representative's eye widened as he clasped his hand around his mouth seeing what no man should see.  He ran out of the room to puke.

* * *

Spock could see the world around him become brighter and he looked around in amazement to see the white familiar hall. The black and white floor with glowing sides when it became night in the corridor that indicated whatever the mode the ship was on. He could see a familiar figure headed his direction. Spock recalled being shot first. The other Jim may follow him shortly.

"Spock." Came a familiar younger voice.

And Spock knew.

"Jim." Spock said.

This was his Jim.

"Spock!" His Jim said.

_Imissedyousomuchimissedyousomuchimissedyousomuch._

"Jim." Spock said, as the two came crashing into a embrace.

The familiar electrical, sizzling loving and familiar bond formed back into place between the two as their hands traveled to each sides of their heads. Spock appeared to be especially happy being with his Jim again. His Jim looked very happy to be back with his Spock. There was this air about them. Something that was truly remarkable but yet adorable between them. There was a golden-green glow from being near each other. They seemed to be translucent.

"I am never dying in your arms, again." His Jim said.

"T'hy'la." Spock said. 

"I am glad the other me made sure you lived," His Jim said, grateful. "At least you didn't die under Bones watch."

It would have broken the doctor if his Jim and his Spock died at the same time.

"Indeed." Spock said.

The two shared a passionate kiss.

* * *

Jim heard the sound of a phaser fire and the bright green flash before his eyes. He did not feel pain. But what he did experience was fairly odd. After the flash he was in a forest of some kind. He could hear footsteps. He could hear what sounded like insects in the scenery.  The sky was turning dark. There were a pair of voices. One of which was familiar to the captain. He could feel young, again. His legs were not sluggish and he felt full of energy. Sure he was dead.

But Jim had no idea where the hell he was.

Jim followed the source of the voices.

He came to the scene. There was Spock letting go of the shoulders of the Vulcan staring back at him in Star Fleet uniform. There was something strange about seeing the backside of Spock. But Jim had no idea why. Maybe it was because he was so used to being by his side in the lifetime he shared with the Vulcan. The shoulders of the older Vulcan were lowered. They were not up and confident like. This was rare to see the Vulcan being physical with another Vulcan. This younger Vulcan was his first officer Sterek.

"Your previous engagement has been rumored to have been. . . a disaster," Sterek said. "You drove him away."

"I did not." Spock said, stepping back.

"You sought out Kolinahr." Sterek said.

Spock  turned away with a sigh.

"I went through a existential crisis." Spock said.

Jim saw a face that he never had seen on his mate's face. But his mate was DEAD. So was he! This was not making sense. There was a look of guilt on the Vulcan's face more clearly than ever. He was displaying emotion which was odd for the Vulcan. Spock had never shown emotion physically as Jim had stood by his side except for rare occasions behind closed doors. Spock opened his eyes. There was a pool of sadness in his eyes. Regret, even. There were lines on his face that hadn't been there before.

Then Jim realized.

This was the Spock who ditched him at the damn alter.

"And your dear doctor is too ill to join us," Sterek said.  "Is it because he knows his friend is dead? Because of you?"

Rare rage replaced those emotions on his face and his face turned green then he turned away.  Then Spock did what Jim had not expected him.  Spock punched the younger Commander at the face knocking him down to the ground. It could be compared to a toss to any outsider watching through the branches. Jim had never seen his former first officer act this way before. Then again he had left him forty-three years ago. Spock had never shown emotion at being insulted.

Which was new given the chain of events.

"You have no idea what you are talking about, Commander Sterek," Spock said. "Just because this planet is capable of killing those who have yet to engage into sexual activity with some-one they are married to does not mean  I will fall victim to it!" He was holding his middle finger up at the emotionless Commander.  "That is _illogical_ , and you know that as I do." Sterek turned around wiping off blood from the corner of his lips. "He didn't run because of me. He ran because of his illogical and irrational heart. He did not die in a manner that our landing party members have died in the past few nights. When the Ion storm clears, I will ensure that your recommendation letter will be nothing short  of accurate."

Sterek stood up.

"I know what I am talking about, captain." Sterek said, glaring back at the older Vulcan.

"I used to be you, knowing what I believed was right, and nothing is right. What would you have done in my shoes about to connect yourself mentally and emotionally to a human male?" Spock stepped forward with a unusual growl like sound coming from him. "You would have done what I did. You live with regret for the rest of your life. You never get over it. You never forgive yourself. When that happens you don't ever forgive yourself for pushing away what should have been yours. You have no idea what I went through before and after. It was his choice, and his choice alone. At least Captain Kirk is _happy_!"

So Spock knew all along where Jim went?

No wonder he looked so. . . guilty and regretful.

"Happiness is a human emotion, Captain." Sterek said.

"I am half human." Spock reminded Sterek.

"Right," Sterek said, not convinced. "And yet, you didn't feel comfortable with your human half to bond with him. Fortunately for you, I have already been mated. So I will not die today."

Spock's fingers rolled up into fists.

"The chances of my death are slim," Spock said. "I have been in this scenario more times than I can count. I have been doing this before you were born."

Which was odd since Spock would list the exact number.

"But this time you do not have a miracle worker," Sterek said. "Nor do we have our communicators."

"Need I remind you it was your idea to destroy them in order to lose the bounty hunters on your tail." Spock said.

"Not my tail," Sterek said. "I do not have a tail."

"You are missing out on metaphors," Spock said. "We must split up. We cannot be in each others presence if we antagonize each other stranded on a planet."

"That is logical." Sterek said.

Spock turned away with his rage still in tact then walked down the path. Jim was standing there wondering what else could be different in this universe. Jim thought of McCoy. How sick must he be? What is ailing him so that he is not part of the landing party? Why is he even still a doctor? Jim's surroundings changed to inside a familiar room. There was biobeds lined up against the wall. Around one of the biobeds had a sheet all around it. Jim shifted through the sheet to see there laying a familiar figure who seemed very unwell. It was McCoy.

"Bones?"  Jim said, in shock.

In the enclosed room came a rather young male nurse who was a Deltan and very bald. This was Lehev. Lehev looked sadly upon the doctor then applied a hypospray onto the side of his neck. There was a bite mark on the side of his neck that seemed to be swollen.

"Doing all we can, Commander McCoy," Lehev said. "Captain Spock is on the planet that has the cure in question."

"What happened to him?" Jim asked,looking over to Lehev.

"There has not been word from the landing party in the past two hours," Lehev said. "We have attempted contact." Lehev looked down sadly. "I am so sorry . . ." The Deltan lifted his head up with sadness in his eyes. "The Ion storm won't allow us to send another landing party. Scotty is on the bridge doing his best to reassure the bridge crew. We are scared. First you. Then the captain and Sterek have to go down on a planet with three other security officers without you. Frankly, I do not believe the commander will come back alive. After all the snipping the captain and commander share in sick bay. Logic dictates they will not save each others lives."

"Spock knew." Jim said.

"It seems. . . we have lost contact, doctor." Lehev said.

"This is suicide of Spock. Going on a planet that has ion storms with someone he clearly does not like? He could have sent the first officer and the landing party for the cure with a science officer to ensure they have the right one." Jim said. "This is illogical of Spock. It is out of character for him!"

"I am so sorry,Doctor McCoy," Lehev said. "There is nothing we can do."

Lehev left the room.

"There is something you can do," Jim said. Then he looked over toward McCoy. "There has to be."

McCoy seemed to be in a coma like state. His skin was pale. There was something very, very wrong with the doctor. Jim placed his hand on the side of the doctor's face. He was curious if he could  conduct a mind meld from the beyond. Jim noticed the scenery had changed around him to a dock on a lake. He could see McCoy sitting on a boat fishing. The man seemed to be generally happy. There was a rope attached to the boat that seemed to be thinning little by little.

"Hey Bones," Jim shouted. "What are you doing?"

McCoy appeared forty-eight years younger  as he turned his head over in the direction of Jim.

"Fishin'!" McCoy shouted back.

Jim appeared to be baffled.

"But you don't like fishing!" Jim shouted back.

"I lied!" McCoy sounded gleeful. "Spock said he sees no purpose in fishin' and as it turns out he does!"

Jim took off his shoes and then his dark socks. He sat down on the edge of the dock then dipped his legs into the water where he could feel the cold ocean water soaking his skin. He had almost forgotten how it felt to dip his legs into some form of ocean as a young man. He could see from the distance that there was heavy fog coverage right ahead. Jim took the hope and started to tug it back.

"How has the fish been?" Jim asked, after awhile.

"Nothin' been biting!" McCoy replied.

"There has to be fish in the open sea." Jim said.

McCoy reeled the line back.

"It is damn illogical," McCoy said. He shook his head.  "Too bad there isn't. Damn Vulcan ignored the fact that he was goin' to die without a mate. Not even when you left.  Spock practically broke apart. He became. . . More human than he was before after you left. He doesn't smile, laugh, cry, or anythin' that expresses emotion. Except there was that one time he sounded happy when I  came back from the dead with that damn blank look on his face. Sometimes I hate myself for pushin' you two together. Sometimes I wish I never suggested you two get together. It is my fault you are dead. I know how Spock feels. Walking around with him in my skull.  He felt what  I felt under the issue. I believe we got even more closer than before. Fun fact, Spock has gone through more first officers than you count fadin' stars. This Vulcan has been around. . ." He paused contemplating then counter his fingers muttering certain situations with the fishing rod proped against the wooden surface. McCoy looked up. "Two months, three weeks,  two days, two hours, and forty-three minutes. Their opinions clash together fiercely. Spock's been actin' rather more Vulcan around him lately. That says he does not like him!"

Jim tugged the rope back.

"And when I had sex with Spock, you know what he said?" McCoy asked.

Jim snickered.

"Illogical." Jim said.

McCoy shook his head.

"He was sorry. I wouldn't leave the room unless we did 'it'. Well, it was kind of awkward at first but then I told him to pretend that the man standing in the room wasn't someone who was not that complete stranger to him under the skin, flesh, and blood. I made it easier for myself for pretending that he was someone else, which was fine by Spock, and . . . it was my first sex with a man. But it was actually. . . better than how I thought it would go. Instead, probably immediately, after I began I saw him as Spock and not just some one else I was making love to. I mean, it was the best night I ever had. I hope you had nights like that with the other Spock." The doctor paused. "We miss you. Spock does the most but . . . I . . ." The doctor sighed. "I don't think he wants to see you again after what he did. I get the distinctive feeling he will give his katra to the great hall of thought.  He is so ashamed of what he did. He chose not to wed. He has gotten better control over his Pon-Farr since our first act. And the thing is during sex he bonded us! He fucking bonded us! He gave us a marriage bond."

Jim was utterly speechless as his grip loosened.

"But it was rather fun with the bond," McCoy had a hearty laugh. Light and happy. "Every day I saw him was like knowing that you were alive. That was until I discovered the hard truth you died this year in the other reality. That was crushing to both of us. For the first time in a long time Spock was cryin'. It has been forty-three years since I saw him so upset like that. In a really long time, Jim. It only hit us when we saw a different you running from some Klingons after different Spock made different you forget him as he was fatally injured. I am sorry, for bringing you two together, I guess I have to make peace with that I will likely see you after I die. I accept that. I accept I am more likely not to see Spock after I die."

The doctor lowered his head.

So it was true.

"And we did get the bond removed. Though I am not sure if it was completely because I can feel his thoughts," McCoy rubbed his fingers together. "Sometimes I know where he is. Which is very helpful when he is injured and refuses to leave the side of someone very important on a mission (it depends on the definition of important from time to time). It makes finding Spock easier."

"Bones. . ." Jim said.

All of it was true.

Spock likely personally informed Jim's mother of his departure.

And Spock was promptly slapped.

"Long as he has not forgiven himself then I am still going to be making sure he does not get chocolate. I will accept the promotion to become a captain when he makes peace with himself and forgives himself. A Vulcan can't hold onto such a heavy weight for that long. When Spock was in my skull, there was massive weight on my shoulders. It was like . . . Undescribe-able. It is Spock's and Spock's alone. I refused to lose him. Because losing him would be losing you. Even though Chekov, Uhura, and Sulu are not on the same ground as  Scotty and  I are with him .  ." The doctor sighed. "He refuses a promotion. I am  no psychologist but it seems Spock views himself unworthy of accepting promotion because of what he did to you."

"Bones, you can stop your penance." Jim said.

McCoy frowned.

"Penance?" McCoy repeated. " _Penance_? This is not penance!"

"Oh? Then prove it to me!" Jim said.

"I can't do that." McCoy said.

"Why?" Jim asked, letting go of the rope.

McCoy's face had turned red.

"I AM ON A WOODEN BOAT, DAMN IT JIM, NOT A SHUTTLE!" McCoy shouted.

"Don't change, Bones," Jim said. "Keep holding on."

Jim took his hand off the side of McCoy's face and he vanished.

"Jim!" McCoy shouted.

* * *

Jim appeared in a dark room. He could see Uhura on the side of the bed with her husband alongside her. He was a Vulcan no less. Uhura's hair appeared to be graying. Her hair was strangely up in some kind of bun that wasn't a bun but was generally short. Jim knelt down to Uhura's side of the bed then he placed a hand on the side of her head and broadcasted himself into her dream. The setting changed around him into the inside of the original _Enterprise_. Spock walked into the room with his hands clasped behind his back. His shoulders were lowered.

Spock appeared younger.

_So this must be how it went down after I left_ , Jim thought..

"Lieutenant Uhura. . ." Spock dressed her formally. "Commander Scott," Scotty looked over from his station. "Lieutenant Commander Sulu and Ensign Chekov . . ." McCoy came alongside the Vulcan coming out of the turbo lift. The Vulcan took a sigh.  "I am unfortunate to say that former captain has since departed this world and went into another." Scotty turned away as the room turned quiet. "It is your decision alone if you rather renew your commission to continue serving on the _Enterprise_."

"Mr Spock, what do you mean the kaptain is gone?" Chekov asked.

"He has chosen to go into another universe," Spock said. "He will never come back."

"Why?" Sulu asked.

Spock was silent.

"I will do this for you," McCoy said. Then he stepped forward. "Spock left Jim at the alter. Jim went into the Guardian of Forever where _a_ Spock who still loved him existed and lost his Jim. That other Spock has lost his Jim and now we have lost our Jim." McCoy was remarkably calm. He cleared his throat. "For good. Mr Spock will be captaining the _Enterprise_."

"Excuse me." Uhura left the bridge trembling.

Spock watched the woman leave her station then go into the turbo lift.  Uhura leaned against the side of the turbo lift and she started to cry. Jim reached his hand out putting one hand on her shoulder. She tearfully looked up in the direction of the one who put his hand on her shoulder. A single rank fell off her tongue staring at Jim in shock and disbelief but genuinely startled, "Captain?"

"It is his fault," Jim said. "But I was happy with another Spock. In a way . . .  Letting me go was the best  thing he ever did for me."

"But-but-but--" Uhura was cut off by the man.

"I am dead." Jim said.

"Captain. . . " Uhura said.

"Call me Jim, Uhura." Jim said.

Uhura straightened herself up as the young man took his hand off her shoulder.

"You can't be dead. You are Jim Kirk. The man who dodges death!" Uhura said.

"This time I could not." Jim said.

"You are making you farewells?" Uhura asked.

Jim nodded.

"Forgive Spock." Jim said.

Uhura appeared to be confused.

"I don't understand." Uhura said.

"Spock is not coming to the afterlife. Has it not occurred to you?" Jim asked. "You won't see him again after you die."

"How do you know?" Uhura asked.

"I just do," Jim said. "Forty-three years I grew old and happy with _a_ Spock. He was not Spock but was close enough. I loved him because he was Spock. A person with faults and all the right parts to him by the inside. Captain Spock broke my heart. It took another Spock to pick up all the pieces."

Uhura's eyes became teary.

"I miss you." Uhura said.

"Live long and prosper, Uhura," Jim said. He had a classic cocky-as-hell smile. "And congratulations for getting married."

Uhura awoke from her sleep and cried into her hands. Her husband awoke getting halfway up being concerned and confused as to why she is awake so early. The tears were coming down like a waterfall from her eyes. Her shoulders were trembling as her husband wrapped his arm around her waist. In her husband's eyes there was genuine concern on the mask that was of emotionless.

* * *

McCoy threw the fishing rod into the water then tugged at the rope.

"Damn it, boat," McCoy said. "Come alon' now."

He could hear what sounded like snapping.

"Not now," McCoy said. "You can not snap on me!"

He heard a loud snapping sound and then the rope fell.

McCoy's expression turned into a 'oh crap' kind of one.

"Shit."

* * *

Jim appeared in a another bedroom this time belonging to Sulu and Chekov.  They were significantly older than he had seen them. It was like time had been unkind to them in this universe. Jim's eyebrows shot up seeing the two had gotten together. That was unexpected. They had _not_ gotten together in the other universe. Jim floated above their bed then placed his hands on the sides of their faces and closed his eyes. Suddenly his surroundings changed to the corridor of the _Enterprise_ being so white. There was a sad atmosphere lingering in the corridors. Jim could see a female security officer being comforted by a girlfriend of hers. Several of the officers spoke in low whispers as they walked down the hall instead of speaking in typical in-door voices. There was a solemn atmosphere about the corridors.

He could feel two people walk through him.

"Where are you going to be assigned to?" Chekov asked.

"I don't know and I don't care," Sulu said. "Long as I am far away from this ship."

"I am being assigned to a all Russian starship!" Chekov said.

Sulu smirked at that shaking his head.

"I can't imagine how that would go." Sulu said.

"And I will be given a promotion to Lieutenant." Chekov said.

"I am gunning for Commander." Sulu said.

"You would make a fantastic Commander, Hikaru!" Chekov said.

"Thank you." Sulu said.

They were both reliving this moment in their dream. Which was odd. Why? Jim followed them into the transporter room where he could see Uhura vanishing in floating golden bands. Spock and Scotty were the only ones in the room as the two men entered. Spock seemed to be completely professional. But the way he stood was entirely different. There was that look of uncertainty in the Vulcan's eyes. His face did not say it but his eyes sure did. Spock was not sure of how the future would be. Spock was seemingly afraid of the future.

"Captain."

"Lieutenant Commander."

"Kaptain."

Spock looked over toward the younger male.

"I hope there is no ill-will between us," Spock said. He held his hand up. Chekov noticed the Vulcan's hand was trembling while Sulu was burning a imaginary hole in Spock's forehead paying no attention what-so-ever to the captain's hand. "Live long and prosper."

Spock was in the yellow shirt with one hand behind his back.

"Live long and prosper." Sulu said then he boarded onto the transporter pad.

"It will be all right, Mister Spock." Chekov said, giving the Vulcan hand sign.

Spock had a comforted look in his eyes then he bowed his head with both shaking hands behind his back.

Chekov boarded the transporter pad.

"Energise, Mr Scott." Spock said.

The two men with their luggage were beamed to Starbase 1. The two men boarded off the transporter pad silently with their luggage behind them. They were greeted  by the transporter engineer, a woman, smiling back at them. Their respective assignments was returning from various missions. The doors closed behind them as they exited the transporter room. Their assignments would be here in two days. Two days to mentally remind themselves that everything had changed. Their whole world was not the same anymore. The hard truth was put into their faces. Captain Kirk was never coming back. The shoulders of the two had touched.

"I miss the kaptain."

"So do I."

"You miss me that soon?"

The two froze in their tracks.

"I can't have been gone that long."

Jim floated over into their direction.

"Kaptain!" Chekov said.

Jim held his hand out in a stop sign.

"I am not here." Jim said.

"But Captain--" Sulu was interrupted by Jim.

"And I am not a captain anymore. Spock is the captain. I am dead," Jim cut off Sulu. "I died . . .Very recently."

"My condolences." Sulu said.

"You should forgive Spock," Jim said. "Because you won't have the chance for long. He won't be in the afterlife."

"What do you mean?" Chekov asked.

"Spock is going to be binding his spirit to the ground," Jim said. "For future generations of Vulcans to learn from him."

Chekov vanished.

"So we will see you?" Sulu asked.

Jim smiled.

"Of course you will." Jim said.

Sulu awoke to find a crying Chekov in bed.

* * *

McCoy fought against the current attempting to paddle toward the dock.

He couldn't leave Spock _now_.

"There is only one logical way out of this." McCoy said, looking over toward the fog ridden background.

McCoy turned his head away from the fog as a defiant expression grew on his face.

"Turning the boat over." McCoy said.

McCoy turned the boat upside down crashing him into the water. McCoy swam his way from under the boat then made it to the surface. He could feel wet all over. If Spock was still around then there is a good chance, that upon McCoy's departure, he would have the new medical officer unlock the chocolate option. He would eat a few, then it would turn moderate, and then Spock would become a chocolate-aholic. At which point he would have left Star Fleet and returned to New Vulcan. No officer who was drunk on the job should hold command. It was unprofessional. McCoy knew Spock all too well.

McCoy had been there to see Spock in his darkest and lowest of all moods. McCoy had seen Spock when  he wasn't at his brightest.  McCoy had treated Spock's various injuries and been there to witness firsthand the infliction.  McCoy had been there to see Spock be seduced, betrayed, tortured, fall into his Vulcan trance, die,fight, save, and so on. McCoy had been there to witness most of many rescues the Vulcan did to save the galaxy. Most of the many missions the Vulcan embarked on. There were numerous times where they saved the galaxy. Saving Earth was among them.

All the more reason why to stick around and prevent the Vulcan from becoming  a chocolate-aholic.

McCoy's eyes were intent on the shore.

And with renewed strength he swam toward the shore.

* * *

Lehev came back to McCoy's biobed.

The nurses eyes widened seeing the monitor then to the stirring figure.

It was a miracle.

McCoy's vitals were returning to normal, but, how?

Lehev took out a medical tricorder and scanned for the ailment that caused all of this. There were traces of it. It had become a mild case rather than a very rare and lethal type of flu. His life line expanded because of that. He had greater chances of surviving the Jahilien Bite. There was a native herb and flower commonly used to create a cure against it on this planet as heard by a survivor of a Jahilien bite on the planet Jahilet. He had flu like symptoms for the time being that will persist and clear up once the cure has been administered. It could return to its lethal state in  a week if not treated within four days.

A miracle.

For now the doctor had to rest and let his body do the fighting that it could.

* * *

_Spock was tossed into the cell with whip marks all over his torso landing onto a pile of hay. McCoy and John Tree came over to the Vulcan's side._

_"Captain!" Tree said._

_"I am fine." Spock said._

_"The hell you are not!" McCoy after scanning the Vulcan with his medical tricorder. "We need your injuries treated before they get infected."_

_"Bring us the doctor." The cell guard said._

_"Negative," Spock said. "The doctor knows nothing."_

_The cell guard pressed a button on a mobile device. The rounded collar on the Vulcan's neck sizzled electricity sending it throughout his body. Spock did not flinch and winch in pain. He gave the cell guard the usual Vulcan glare. The cell guard aimed the mobile device in the direction of the doctor then he pressed it. McCoy fell over withering in pain with a scream and visible signs of electricity being carried through his body. Tree and Spock shared a glance. Spock still had on his dark jeans  that seemed to have cuts at the sides._

_"If he does not come with me, he will get permanent neurological damage." The cell guard said._

_"Tha-th-a--that is very specific," McCoy said, tugging at the bind around his neck "You mean brain damage."_

_"It will not be pretty." The cell guard said._

_"Come closer." Spock requested._

_Tree got up staring in the direction of the cell guard._

_"No." The cell guard said._

_"I have information of valuable." Spock said._

_"The code to your ship?" The cell guard asked._

_"Affirmative. Only my first officer can tell you." Spock said_

_The cell guard approached the cell._

_"Tell me." The cell guard said._

_"Closer." Tree said._

_The cell guard came closer to the cell bars with a disgruntled look. Tree yanked the device out of the man's hand, the keys from his wristband, and then delivered a hard punch to the face knocking him down. The cell guard landed on the floor with a small thud._

_"Doctor McCoy, it is logical to beam me up once aboard the ship." Spock said._

_"Like hell we are leavin' you!" McCoy sounded insult in his reply._

_"The captain is right," Tree said. "Much as I hate to say it. He would slow us down."_

_"Logically." Spock said._

_McCoy appeared to be dumbfounded at what he was hearing._

_"You are agreeing with him!" McCoy said._

_"We can beam him out. He is dead weight, McCoy." Tree said._

_"He could bleed out to death." McCoy said._

_"I will not," Spock said. "I will focus on my injuries."_

_"Right," McCoy said. "Healin' trances."_

_"And it is guaranteed to work on damage that cannot be repaired by your instruments," Spock said. "As you recall my blood has already began the blood clotting process."_

_"Just don't get yourself killed, Spock." McCoy said._

_Spock nodded._

_"Go." Spock said._

_Tree had already opened the door, took the cell guards weapon,and together they fled to retrieve their communicators. Spock sighed, relieved, that his friend was safe. Spock closed his eyes and focused on the other internal damage done by the light saber themed whip_. _Spock had promised himself that if it came to it, he would rather risk his life protecting his friends from injuries that could be life threatening. If he had been whipped as many times as Spock was then there wouldn't be any chance of the doctor surviving. Spock promised himself not to lose McCoy like he had lost Jim. He was one of the last few friends he had in this world._

_Spock will not make the same mistake twice._

* * *

Jim appeared in the destination Spock was at. Instead, Spock was laid on the grass with injuries all her body. His green blood was oozing out of his injuries. On the side of  Spock's left thigh was claw marks. Spock's uniform appeared as though it had been shredded. There were distinctive claw marks on the Vulcan's chest along with slash scars. There was slash scars along the Vulcan's face. Jim could see in the Vulcan's eyes that he was in pain and at most: sad, horrified, and scared. It appeared he didn't want to go, yet. Spock closed his eyes. Jim placed his hand on the side of the Vulcan's face to read his thoughts that could be his last.

_I am sorry, Leonard._

Jim took his hand off startled to hear Spock refer to McCoy by his first name.

Then Jim recalled what Leonard said forty-three years ago.

_"I was out for three days!" Leonard said. "I had to see what happened after your departure, and oh, don't worry about your Spock and your Bones, they were . .  . " Leonard took a sigh. "That was the most intense, oh god, that was . . . I can't describe it." He shook his head. "It was a extraordinary friendship. It really defined them as individuals."_

Jim sat there.

_"At one point Spock transferred his katra into other me's skull before his body was destroyed beyond repair. Other Spock wanted to be taken to the new great hall of thought. Other me refused and had other Spock's body cloned."_

His McCoy did that.

_"Even without being bonded. . . Other me started sufferin' the effects of losing a bonded."_

His McCoy lost a half of himself when Spock 'died' the first time.

_"Other me saved saved other Spock's life."_

His McCoy was that willing.

_"But it was rather fun with the bond!" McCoy had a hearty laugh. Light and happy._

His McCoy willingly did something that Jim never expected.

_"I refused to lose him," McCoy said, looking over toward Jim. "Because losin' him would be losin' you."_

His McCoy had the heart to risk his life to save the Vulcan's life. Not even after when he came crying to the older man about being dumped by the Vulcan. The rage and anger he had seen in the man's eyes for the Vulcan. It was contrary to what he had seen from McCoy being this way. From what Jim understood McCoy would die sometime after Spock did if the older Vulcan had died on any occasion. If his Spock died then McCoy would follow suit.

_"Long as he has not forgiven himself then I am still going to be making sure he does not get chocolate."_

That was it.

_". . . Spock views himself unworthy of accepting promotion because of what he did to you."_

Making Spock forgive himself.

_"I accept I am more likely not to see Spock after I die."_

 Jim put one hand on the side of Spock's face.

_"A Vulcan can't hold onto such a heavy weight for that lon'."_

_**You are right, Bones, a Vulcan can't.** _

* * *

The scenery had turned into Spock's quarters. Just the way it had been when they were preparing to do the ceremony that Spock would later skip out on leaving a letter to explain away his stupid and idiotic move. This time, however, the Vulcan was in his ceremonal robes meditating. He looked so at peace meditating. The other Spock had taught him how to do meditation, just to clear his mind and gather his thoughts when everything was hectic.

"Spock, are you ready?" Jim asked.

Spock appeared to be panicked, frightened, confused, and horrified at once.

"Spock, is there something wrong?" Jim asked.

Spock stood up turning away using the counter as his support.

"Affirmative." Spock said.

Spock grabbed at the side of his chest.

"What is wrong?" Jim asked, standing up approaching the Vulcan. "Is there something in your chest?"

"This is not real." Spock said.

Jim stopped.

_Damn, he knows I am a ghost._

"Well, what is not real?" Jim asked.

"You, this, this ceremony," Spock said. "It has been forty-three years . . ." He turned in the direction of Jim . "Since I backed out and lost you." He turned his head away in shame. "I am not for you, Jim. I had the duty to inform your surviving family of your departure."

"Spock--"

"And I deserved that slap from your mother," Spock said. "Jim . . . I . . . Can't. I can never forgive myself. We cannot commit the bond as you are not real and just a figment of my imagination. I do not know why my mind chose this situation while in my healing trance."

"Spock . . ." Jim said.

"I promised Admiral Pike not to hurt you twice, so, please," Spock took Jim's hand. "I can _not_ go through it." He could see the Vulcan tearing up. Never did Spock cry. Never. "I can never go through it when I know you are dead and it was all _my_ fault." He stood up letting go of Kirk's wet hand. "It seems we were never meant to work out in this timeline as lovers but as . . . " Spock cleared his throat. "Friends. Perhaps?"

Jim felt like he was back in that same room, all over again, his heart crushed again by the very man he left.

With  a sob Jim left Spock's room leaving the Vulcan to speak to thin air.

"My other self said our friendship defined us as individuals. . . not as lovers. . . I never told you this, not even through the emphatic bond we had, but you were like a brother to me. A brother I never had."

Spock turned around to see Jim had left.

"And you are still gone." Spock said.

Why was he even attempting to help this jerk anyway?

* * *

 

_"That is illogical to have families on a starship vessel." Spock said.  
_

_"In the middle of what we have with the Klingons, I agree," Tree said. "Not until that problem is fixed should families should be on a starship."_

_Spock nodded his head._

_"Indeed." Spock said.  
_

_"Captain," Tree said. "Off the record. . . My wife is expecting our fifth child."_

_"Congratulations." Spock said.  
_

_"We are having twins." Tree said.  
_

_Spock raised an eyebrow._

_"Twins?" Spock asked.  
_

_"Affirmative." Tree said.  
_

_"Long hours of restlessness await you." Spock said.  
_

_"Been through four kids, what much can the fifth and six child do?" Tree said.  
_

_"I have no experience in this subject," Spock said. "But I am well aware that twins will be a handful.  You cannot tell who is who until they distinguish themselves and distance each other to become their own individuals. Logically, you will await long arguments of dating, teaching  the children to fly hover-cars when they are old enough, and accepting their career paths."  
_

_"Sounds like you are talking about the two security officers we were 'raising' from a alien colony." Tree said._

_Spock bowed his head with a glint in his eye._

_"Affirmative." Spock said._  
  
_"I plan on naming the two boys James and Horatio." Tree said._

_"That is wise." Spock said._

_"And I am wondering . .  if you would like to be James's godfather." Tree said._

_"That would be an honor," Spock said. "Is it safe to say you will ask Doctor McCoy too?"_

_"Affirmative," Tree said. "Horatio is the doctor's middle name. I decided to name the kids after the two important people in Star Fleet. After all you did for me. You saved my career, my reputation, my wife, my life, and not only that but the man I was charged to protect."_

_"It was logical." Spock said._

_"Three years ago I found it odd that you didn't have a first officer on the Yorktown upon my arrival," Tree said. "Care to explain that?"_

_"He was in the brig." Spock said._

_"Seriously?" Tree asked._

_"He attempted to kill my chief engineer and killed two ensigns, injured three crewmembers, and damaged the dilithium crystals on his rampage," Spock said. "I have not received any word as to why he decided to go into the engineering deck. It was illogical of him. If he wanted to make the most damage then he should have done so on the bridge. It is far more logical."_

_"You make a compelling argument, captain." Tree said._

_"And what do you believe about the argument of allowing families on starships?" Spock asked. "What are the pro sides to you?"  
_

_Tree stood there contemplating._

_"Well, less stress, fun, and lots of champagne." Tree jokingly said._

_"Vodka?" Spock played along._

_"No way!" Tree said. "Too bitter."_

_The turbo lift doors opened and the two went out of the turbolift._

* * *

_"Spock to Enterprise," Spock said, into the communicator. "Do you read me?"_

_Tree was in the Vulcan's arms losing blood._

_"Cap. . . tain. . ." Tree said._

_"Commander, you must keep hanging on," Spock said. "There is a high probability you will make it."_

_"I. . . never. . . been . . . so honored. . . to be under your command," Tree said, in-between breaths. "It occurred to me. . . that . . . the. . reason why . . . you have not been acting Vulcan-y is. . . because you are doing what your captain would have done, or at least, you think."_

_"That is illogical to pretend to be someone I am not." Spock said._

_"Leave no . . . man . . . Vulcan. . . or any alien behind." Tree said._

_"It is only logical." Spock said._

_"Cap. . tain. . . Do you honestly think . . . . I don't know there is a thing between you and the doctor?" Tree asked._

_"There is nothing between us." Spock said._

_"I have been losing a lot of federation credits . . . . because . . . you haven't admitted." Tree said._

_"We are colleagues. Do not waste your last breaths on this illogical argument." Spock said._

_"Star Fleet says James T. Kirk died in action .  . . If he is dead . . ." Tree said. "I'll tell him that the Vulcan has not made that mistake again."_

_"What mistake?"  Spock asked._

_"Not. . . marrying. . . him. .  ." Tree said. "The kid's gotta be proud I lasted this . . long. . . in Star Fleet. Best dad in the galaxy . . ." He had a difficult time letting a sigh out. "Tell Jane . . . that I love. . ."_

_"I will, Commander Tree." Spock said._

_"Can you tell my kids  . . . what their dad did? Saving a alien princess, fighting off space pirates, and kicking piranha. . . ass. ." Tree said._

_"When they are old enough." Spock said._

_"When they are old enough. . . . right. . ." Tree had a laugh. Then he became still. "Cap. . . tain. . . I. . . see a . . . light."  
_

_"Go to it." Spock said._

_"Not even going to say live long and prosper?" Tree asked._

_"There is no need for that," Spock said. "You will die and be prosper."_

_Tree smiled back at the Vulcan. Then Tree's bright green eyes lost their light. Spock was trembling where he sat. His very first officer had died on his watch. There was the sounds of large balls striking the making explosive sounds in their wake as the ground trembled. The Vulcan lowered his head in sorrow. He had lost his fine first officer.  Tree would have made a fine first officer._

_"This. . . McCoy. . can. . you. . . . me, Spock!" McCoy's voice was crackily over the communicator._

_The signal was not good._

_"Spock here." Spock said._

_"Glad. . . . alive, captain," McCoy's voice came over the communicator.  "There . . . ion storm brewin'. . . there.. . . Can't say . . . transporter can . .  beam. . . up. . . two of. . . here. Scotty theorizes . . . you might. . . in pieces. . . or in . . .  another universe like last time . . ."_

_"Tree is dead." Spock said._

_There was silence._

_"Damn it! I. . .  you . . .  beam up before goin' to. . . shelter . . . help those people!" McCoy shouted over the communicator. "Nobody. . . listens. . . me. . .more. . "_

_"Negative, people do listen to you, Doctor McCoy." Spock said._

_"Hold still," McCoy said. "Scotty . . . attemptin'. . . beam . . . two. . . you. . . up."_

_Spock looked down to the dead first officer._

_"I am sorry, Commander Tree," Spock said. "We should have beamed up."_

* * *

"Who the hell are you?" Jim backed off when he saw a dark man in a blue shirt with his hands to his side.

"James T. Kirk." Jim said.

"I haven't seen you around here if ever, never, so the rumors were true. . ." The man held his hand out. "John Tree. Everyone calls me Tree."

Jim shook the hand of Tree.

"Call me Jim." Jim said.

They stopped shaking hands then Tree looked over toward the older captain.

"You know. . . I always expected him to outlive me," Tree said. "He is a Vulcan after all."

"Indeed." Jim said.

Tree looked over toward Jim.

"Why are you here?" Tree asked.

"I was attempting to make him forgive himself." Jim said.

"And that backfired." Tree said, knowingly.

"How do you know?" Jim said.

"Spock is a man of many qualities but reliving a situation is no way to make him forgive himself."  Tree said.

"Sounds like you have done it before." Jim said.

"Not precisely."  Tree said.

"What?" Jim asked.

"There was a psychic presence on the Yorktown terrorizing everyone and Spock was the first." Tree said.

* * *

_Spock collapsed to the floor clenching at his head feeling unwell and pain. Emotional pain, that is. He was seeing a face he should not have seen again, period, if anything never. He was reliving a moment in time that should have happened. It felt so real sitting down on the mat mere inches away from the one who he had a emphatic bond. A psychic bond if one wanted to be precise.  A smile aimed at Spock that wasn't real.  
_

_"Captain!" Tree came over to the captain's side._

_"No," Spock plead. "Jim, I cannot bond with you. I can not. "_

_Tree came over to the captain's chair then pressed a button._

_"Doctor McCoy please come to the bridge. We have a emergency!"_

_Tree returned to the Vulcan's side  in a concerned manner on the small rounded bridge. Afterwards the turbo lift door opened. McCoy darted onto the bridge where he could see the Vulcan on the floor with his eyes closed and he was unresponsive. McCoy took out his medical tricorder then scanned the Vulcan. Something alarmed him as he looked up._

_"Somethin' wrong with his brain," McCoy said. "We have to get him to Med Bay, stat!"_

* * *

"If you were in his dream then you went the wrong way." Tree said, once he finished.

"Then what way should I do it?" Jim asked.

"Someway that is natural," Tree said. "The bridge for example."

Jim contemplated that.

"Too many people." Jim said.

"So the ceremony is the only natural way, in your eyes, is to make him forgive himself." Tree said.

"Correct." Jim said.

"Good luck with that," Tree said. "He ruined his own life after you left. I guess you didn't expect him to stay in Star Fleet."

Jim nodded.

"It was much of a surprise. I never seen _a_ Spock that middle aged before." Jim said.

"Guilt and regret can do many things to a man over time." Tree said.

"But aging the way he did?" Jim said.

"The captain looks older." Tree said.

"Commander Tree, why are you still here?" Jim asked.

"To help his former first officers move on into the afterlife," Tree said. "Sterek needed more than I could give."

Jim noticed the man was radiating.

"You are an angel." Jim noted.

Tree nodded.

"That I am." Tree said.

"Will I become an angel?" Jim asked.

"Once you cross over," Tree said. "Everyone in the universe has their personal heaven."

Jim looked over in the direction of Spock.

"I wonder what Spock's personal heaven would have been. . ." Jim turned his head back in the direction of Tree only to see he had vanished.

Jim decided to try again later.

* * *

 

"Uhura, it is nice tae see you again!"

Uhura smiled back on the view screen then appeared to be confused.

"Where is Mr Spock?" Uhura asked.

"On a mission on the planet Kirkandria," Scotty said. "Why are you callin' so late?"

"I had a dream." Uhura said.

Scotty froze at first.

That was the third time someone had said that in a row.

"Was Jim in it?" Scotty asked.

Uhura appeared to be surprised.

"Why yes he was." Uhura said.

"You are the third person tae call about Spock this late." Scotty said.

"How long has he been gone?" Uhura asked.

"Thirteen hours," Scotty said. "I am sure he will request for a beam up once the Ion storm has passed."

Uhura laughed.

"I guess you must know what I want to say." Uhura said.

"Nae really," Scotty said. "But the other lads said they would send a message for him to see once he comes back."

"That sounds like a good idea after all," Uhura said. "It was nice to see you again, Scotty. Uhura out."

* * *

McCoy awoke three days later in Sick Bay.

"Lehev stop starin' at me, overgrown little child." McCoy said, turning his head away from the direction of the bald grinning Deltan with his eyes closed. McCoy could sense the Deltan was grinning at him even without his eyes opened. 

"I am glad your brain was not harmed," Lehev sounded amused and delighted to hear the insult. "Mr Scott has sent down a search party for the first landing party."

McCoy got up halfway.

"They have not come back?" McCoy asked

"It has been three days," Lehev said. "We managed to acquire the cure two hours ago."

McCoy got off the biobed feeling wibbly wobbly.

"Get me some damn clothes!"  McCoy said. "I know where on  the planet  Spock is. Damn green blooded hobgoblin! The captain is likely unresponsive because he is critically injured because of his flawed logic." Lehev came back with a attire then placed it on the biobed. "I am  goin' Vulcan huntin'!"

Lehev raised an eyebrow.

"Again?" Lehev said, unfazed. "You go on Vulcan hunting a lot."

"He is Spock," McCoy said. "He is that kind of person. You are dismissed, Nurse.  I have to get dressed."

Lehev left the biobed that was cloaked with the sheet.

* * *

_Spock decided to personally break the news to Sarah Jane, a archeologist on the planet Selptune. The other children were having a playdate monitored by a sapient holoprogram (that is a long story) named Shelby. Spock left the new first officer Elizabeth Meadow to be the bridge. He could have done something to prevent the death of someone he admired as a officer and knew as a friend. The loss of Tree had hit the crew hard. Howden, Johnson,Austen,Bush, and Redford were dealing  with the loss in their own ways. McCoy had been there when they jetted the torpedo pod out into space. There were lots of people in attendance during Tree's funeral. It hurt everyone._

_Namely one being Spock._

_"Mrs Tree." Spock said, once the door opened._

_"Mr Spock!" Jane greeted the Vulcan, one hand on her bulging stomach. "Glad you could come. Is John coming?"_

_"May I come in?" Spock asked._

_"Of course," Jane said. "The kids would be happy to see you again. . . . If they were here."_

_She stepped aside letting in the Vulcan._

_"Has Ashley lost her tooth yet?" Spock asked._

_"She has," Jane said. "Robopup did have some part in that. She didn't cry when she got the tooth out." The Vulcan came into the house. "Would you like some tea?"_

_Robopup was snoozing in his comfortable small bed near the back sliding doors._

_"Affirmative." Spock said._

_"The living room is the clearest part of the house," Jane said. "Sorry I did not expect you to come here unexpectedly. Just wait in the living room. It is over there."_

_Spock went into the living room. He could see the projected holopictures. Tree was with his family in most of them. It showed that the family grew over the corresponding pictures. Spock looked down toward the wedding photograph. That could have been Jim and Spock if he had not ditched him. They could have had a family, used a surrogate, and had two children. Half breeds most likely. But then again it would have been illogical to raise children on a starship with all the fighting the Romulans and Klingons did against the Enterprise. Space was a dangerous place.  Yet when they came to save the day that danger was eliminated and it seemed peaceful. Spock Prime had agreed with the assessment that space was not a kind place as it was before in his original universe._

_Spock Prime had known Tree Prime as a man killed by Khan's followers in the claiming of the Reliant._

_Spock put the photograph down back where it had been placed._

_The family appeared so happy in the holopictures._

_Spock sat down on the chair._

_"John hasn't told me about some of the missions he has gone in the latest messages we had," Jane said from the kitchen. She was one of those people who cooked food in the style of the 21st century and prepared tea that way. There were some people in the galaxy who did it the same way. "He claims they are classified. You got to tell me he doesn't just manage when there is some padd work."_

_Spock was silent._

_"He hasn't been replying to my messages since last week," Jane said. "It is making me worried. But then again he doesn't reply when he is on lengthy missions. I should be used to this." She came into the living room with the two cups of tea. She handed one to Spock then sat down onto the couch and sipped the cup of tea she had. "So what is the business you are here for?"_

_Spock took a sip._

_"It is about John." Spock said._

_"Has he been captured?" Jane asked._

_"Negative." Spock said._

_"Then what is wrong with him? Where is he?" Jane asked._

_Spock lowered his head briefly then looked up toward Jane with a genuine sad look in his eyes._

_"No-no--no!" Jane said, with a gasp as she shook her head._

_"John shoved me out of the way," Spock said. "He did not make it."_

_"No, he can't be dead, he can't be!" Jane said._

_"He loved you," Spock said. "If there was anything I could have done to save his life I would have laid my life in for his."_

_Jane looked up, her eyes filled in tears, seeing the matching sadness in his eyes. She had known Vulcans were a race that did not show their emotions. His face was that of a mask. Deceiving and betraying his inner emotions. Spock was doing better than she was controlling his emotions. In a way she envied him for having such control over them. Most Vulcans after the loss of Vulcan went through emotional therapy as held by a random Vulcan named Sybok. Spock and most of the Vulcans had heard of him because of his attempts to help other Vulcans face their pain and move on from it._

_Spock refused, apparently, to lose the pain he had._

_A very emotional Vulcan pretending pretending not to be emotional._

_"He . . . He . . . worshiped you." Jane said._

_Spock lowered his head with a sigh._

_"And he paid for it." Spock said._

I paid for it, _Spock added in mid-thought,_ dearly.

_"How many people have you lost that were close to you?" Jane said,_

_"Two," Spock said. "John would be the third." He took a sip of the tea. "Delicious tea."_

_"I pity you," Jane said, her tears had slowed down. "You get to outlive everyone you care about, you get to watch everyone wither before your eyes and die. Maybe if not to save your own life or by the line of work. It must be a pain in the ass to be a Vulcan."_

_Spock nodded._

_"Affirmative," Spock said. "I grieve with thee."_

_"So who is replacing him?" Jane asked, choked up by what she had to say._

_Spock looked up toward Jane._

_"Your husband is irreplaceable," Spock said, putting the tea cup down on the table. "His presence will be missed."_

_"You came to tell me instead of messaging me," Jane said. She appeared to be grateful for that. "Thank you, Mr Spock."_

* * *

Jim returned to find a search party.

"Spooock!" Came a familiar voice. "Spock!"

There was a storm brewing. It wasn't a Ion storm but a general storm. It was raining and thunder rumbled the ground. The crash of lightning against the ground made it sound like there was a earthquake. The wind was making trees shake from side to side. Jim looked up to see it was dark up there. He couldn't see if there was a Starship in the sky. Mainly because of the darkness.

Spock's bleeding had since stopped.

"SPOOCK!" It was McCoy. "Can you hear me?"

"Captain!" It was another shout. That was Howden.

McCoy ran through a bush and came to a abrupt stop.

"SPOCK!" McCoy shouted.

The doctor at first froze seeing the badly injured Vulcan. His skin did not look good nor did his ears. His eyes widened seeing the injuries. McCoy came over to the Spock's side, crouched down, then put  his hand on the side of the Vulcan's neck. His eyes became frightened. McCoy's eyes became full of intent then he slapped the Vulcan's face demanding him to wake up.

The Vulcan's eyes opened somewhat wincing in pain.

Spock could feel a throbbing pain in his mind.

"My head." Spock said.

McCoy was relieved, then he took a hypospray out to ease Spock's suffering for the time being while saying "It will be all right, Spock."

* * *

 Jim saw a intriguing scene in Sick Bay.

McCoy placed one hand on the side of the Vulcan's face and closed his eyes.

"Bones can't do mind melds." Jim said.

"He has been able to do so since Spock put his katra into his head." Came a distinctive female voice.

Jim turned away to see the young woman sitting on a biobed.

"Who are you?" Jim asked.

"Elizabeth Meadow," Meadowsaid, getting off the biobed. She was vibrating a unusual color much like Tree was. She was angelic like. She had a halo above her head. She had a unusual wrinkle on her nose. Which reminded Jim of the Bajoran's. His jaw went slack as he recognized her as Captain Ellen E Meadow except for the ridge on her nose. "Former Commander of the _Enterprise_."

Meadow held her hand out toward Jim.

"You must know who I am." Jim said, as they shook hands.

"Of course," Meadow said. "You are the reason why Spock is so human."

"Spock has never been that human." Jim said.

"Compared to many Vulcans I know," Meadow said. "He is the most human Vulcan I ever met. Just without the therapy most Vulcans had to go after the destruction of Vulcan." Jim was shocked. "Wherever you were. That must never have happened? Mr Spock and Commander Tree discovered Bajor two years after you had left."

"Where I was: I discovered it." Jim said.

"Alternate Universe?"  Meadow said.

"Yes," Jim said. "And you were a great captain."

Meadow smiled.

"Nice to know." Jim said, "In fact, my friend Bones introduced me to you at the annual Captain/Admiral party. Your name was Ellen E. Meadow."

"My mother's first name," Meadow said. "But who is Bones?"

"Leonard McCoy," Jim said. "The Doctor. Captain in the other reality."

"He was one of my greatest friends," Meadow said. "He was a great listener and gave me good advice." She came over to the side of the resting Vulcan. "There were some things that changed after McCoy and Spock's souls were separated. Most notably how McCoy resorted to logic, meditation, and Vulcan tea. Spock started to eat human food, had sweet tea, and most notably . . .get this. . . Spoke with a Georgian accent at one point with McCoy being there."

Jim laughed.

"Apparently they left the best part of the other in their minds." Jim said.

"McCoy does not always use mind melds," Meadow said. "It is a rare thing."

McCoy took his hand off Spock's head then looked down toward the Vulcan.

"I hope that logical mind of yours fixes the mental barrier that fell and get back to workin'," McCoy said. "I will check you tomorrow,captain, just . . . I can feel that someone had mind melded with you. But it wasn't the kind I went through. Kinder, gentler, and not forced. Carefully done without your knowledge. Maybe the trauma of that bear did more to your mind then what it seemed. I am no psychologist but it could be the case. . ." McCoy looked down toward the Vulcan with a glint of hope in his eye. But also that of concern and worry. "Just don't fall into a coma on me."

McCoy took the right hand of the Vulcan and squeezed it.

"I think the rest of the internal repairs can be easily fixed with your efforts," McCoy said. "You are too youn' to die."

McCoy let go of the Vulcan's hand.

"And as such," Meadow said. "Spock left a part of him in the doctor. To mind meld."

Jim looked over in the direction of the woman.

"Then why are you still here?" Jim asked.

"Just to make sure he is still kicking," Meadow said. "And to meet the legendary man. You can move on to the afterlife after you finish your business here."

Jim looked over in the direction of Spock.

"My unfinished business is with Spock?.  .  ." Jim said. "But we didn't have unfinished business when I left--"

When Jim turned his head in the direction of Meadow she was gone.

* * *

We see the outside of the _Enterprise A._

The _Enterprise A_ had scars of her war with time, the nacelles were still operating as they did so many times before, and the hull had faint marks that seemed to be remainments of what had been something of a attack that had occurred long ago. The windows visibly had been the subject to a beating but appeared as though they were hanging on. Minor repairs had to be done once a month to the _Enterprise_. It was minor damage. Some of the damage could not be repaired. She looked so old but rather graceful, awe-striking, and so beautiful. The circular disk in the middle glowed blue. The stars, flying asteroids, and planets were simply background music to the sheer awesomeness of the starship.

The saucer section had the addition of the word 'A' that seemed to be peeling away week by week.

But she was still fighting but on her last leg.

Ready to be decommissioned.

For so long she had been the home of extended families.

Held the missions, saved her crew in what ways she could, watched her first captain fly off in shuttle to the Guardian of Forever then never see him again, watched her crew grieve with their falling loses, her beloved crew separate, her engines tear apart seeing her beloved crew go their ways, the crew she loved leave her transporter room then three of them return three years later after a complete refit, hear the sobs and the cries of the people, the shouting, the fighting that did not always occur, and the conversations that went through her corridors. If a machine had a personality then she would be a loving and tender starship in the form of a mother figure. At one point in time five years ago she had the opportunity to appear in a holographic human form to First Officer Meadow, Commander McCoy, and Captain Spock.

When she felt ghostly presences roaming her ship, the _Enterprise_ felt not alone at night.

At least when the nighttime shift had set.

Not alone in the endless space.

Starships are machines.

But maybe they do have their own personalities.

Their own souls, so to speak.

Far-fetched. 

As the hours dwindled by, _Enterprise_ watched over the captain who made sure she was safe and sound.

* * *

Jim decided to try one more time. It had been twenty-four hours. He had been deciding how to ram at it again. Perhaps he could take Tree's suggestion. But that didn't feel organic at all to the man. This, putting it into his face, felt more organic. Human, pulling on Spock's heart strings, making him come to terms. Jim put his hand on the side of the Vulcan's face. The scenery around him started to change right into Spock's quarters. Spock was sitting down appearing to be meditating wearing his science officer uniform and he appeared so young. Young like he had last seen him.  There were no scars, no aging wrinkles on the Vulcan's face, and he seemed at peace. Content. Prior to leaving him for another Spock.

"Spock, are you ready?" Jim asked.

The Vulcan's eyes opened as he stood up backing up as there was pain in his eyes. He turned away putting one hand on the counter and had one hand pressing against his thigh. The Vulcan must be feeling his legs under some conscious level. It was the only explanation. Asides to the Vulcan wasting his potential last moments of life reliving some moments in time. Some of them were after Jim had left which the man found curious enough. Spock never revisited the era where Jim was around it seemed.

"You are a figment of my subconscious." Spock said.

Jim was relieved.

Spock was unaware that he was speaking to a ghost.

Jim raised an eyebrow, playing along with Spock's idea.

"Why is it that?" Jim asked.

Spock briefly closed his eyes.

"Jim is dead," Spock said. "I cannot have him."

"Why?" Jim asked.

"I just told you." Spock said, turning back in his direction.

"Then why are you dreaming this scene again after forty-three years?" Jim asked.

"Pain." Spock said.

"But you are not in pain." Jim said.

Spock closed his eyes, and then, he reopened them.

"I am in pain, Jim." Spock said.

Jim narrowed his eyes in Spock's direction.

"But you are not hurt." Jim said.

"You must understand, Jim, it only hurts inside for I have lost a brother I cared deeply." Spock said.

"You don't have a brother." Jim said.

"I do. . ." Spock took Jim by the shoulders. "Leonard told me I have to face my demons and you are one of them." There was sincerity in his voice.  "You are my brother who I betrayed, and for that, I am sorry. I cannot devote myself to someone I have broken the heart of so greatly." Before Jim's eyes, the Vulcan aged quite naturally as his hands squeezed the man's shoulders. "I was young. I was still finding myself back then. Leonard was there when you were not. I nearly . . . sacrificed myself for star fleet in 2270 with a ship called voyager to fulfil it's mission. I wanted to die, Jim, gladly I stepped in the way of Commander Decker."  Spock's grip became loose. "Somehow, they dragged my carbon copy and katra out of the ship but with a cost. This simple feeling . . .  Xon, a Vulcan Science Officer I met back then, he discovered it when I should have long ago. I cannot be yours Jim. I am sorry. . . for everything. But  I do not regret our short lived friendship."

"So . . . this is . . . a projection for you to let go." He stared at Spock in understanding. "You are a old man."

Spock nodded.

"I cannot keep the past much longer, old friend." Spock said.

"That means you are ready to forgive yourself?" Jim asked.

There was a look in Spock's eyes as he let go of Jim's shoulders.

"I can never forgive myself for what I did, Jim." Spock said.

There was a smile on the man's face that Spock had never seen in forty-three years.

"You almost look like Old Spock." Jim said.

"Almost?" Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Your hair has not turned gray, yet." Jim said.

"I can only move on from what I did." Spock said.

"Usually when this happens like a  Vulcan, usually it is done for someone who has to make peace with their past," Jim said.  "Like a old man reaching the end of his rope."

"Vulcans can live up to two hundred years." Spock said.

"You are half human, Spock!" Jim reminded to Spock.

"I realize that. My other self. . . you already know . . ." He sighed going over to the table with the tea. Spock dipped some tea into the cup. "He has . . . Bendii's syndrome." Spock lowered the tea pot down to the table. "He confused Leonard at one point as his McCoy Prime." Spock paused. "Ever since you left. . . I have unexplainably found myself become closer to the doctor."

"You hooked up with _Bones_?" Jim asked.

"Negative," Spock took a sip from the tea then put the tea-cup down swallowing the liquid. "We are very close friends." Spock turned in the direction of Jim. "I am surprised he has not taken the rank of captain and refused a promotion."

"Forty-three years and Bones is still in the service!" Jim said, then he had a laugh. "And he is the one who says it will kill him!"

Jim noticed a significant change from the Vulcan's persona. His shoulders were back to the level they had been the last time Jim had ever seen Spock alive forty-three years ago flesh and blood standing side by side. The edges of Spock's mouth began to curl up into a smile. In the time Jim had known the Vulcan forty-three years ago he had never smiled. Ever. It was like Jim was speaking to a different person. It was like Spock had turned the leaf.

"The _Enterprise_ was given a letter after its secondary refit," Spock said. "Jim. . . Rest in peace." He held up his hand doing the ta'al. "Live long and prosper. . ."

* * *

Jim took  his hand off the Vulcan's face. McCoy's hand went through Jim's hand followed by a slap to the Vulcan's face. Spock's eyes opened to Sick Bay.

"Good mornin' sunshine!" McCoy said, relieved.

"Illogical," Spock said. "I am not the sun."

"You had me worried yesterday," McCoy said. "Don't you dare leave this ship again without a medic."

"It was unneeded." Spock said.

"Unneeded?" McCoy repeated, with a frown on his face. "Unneeded my ass!"

"How far are we to Earth?" Spock asked.

"Three weeks," McCoy said. "And on our way back, stop losin' your first officers! They are droppin' like flies!"

And then Spock did something that Jim hadn't seen from him. The Vulcan laughed out in public, his hands on his stomach, and he seemed to happy.

"He has finally lost it." McCoy muttered to himself in shock.

"I have not lost it, Doctor McCoy," Spock said, once his fit of laughter had ended. "I have regained my mojo. May I return to my duties?"

McCoy nodded.

"While you were out, I took the liberty to promote someone to first officer and this is NOT a Vulcan!" McCoy said, shaking his index finger. "You may remember her. She is Alice Neferit. I need to run a few more tests and then I am releasing you." McCoy pointed at the Vulcan. "I swear you graduated out from caves into forests." McCoy rubbed the side of his temple. "I have written off Sterek's demise as a accident. Now next time this happens I won't do that. Don't lose this one."

"I will not lose this one." Spock said.

"Give me your word," McCoy said, arms folded. "So I can be certain."

"I give my word." Spock said.

Jim transported to the bridge where he saw a young woman sitting in the captain's chair. It was Neferit with her legs crossed. She was excited and nervous to be on the bridge. Jim noticed the bridge was dim, but lit enough for someone to be working on. Jim noticed a man was sitting at the science station. There was Johnson talking to a Yeoman, grinning from ear to ear, who was apparently single and so was he. Johnson's hand snaked along towards hers. Austen was staring out into space. Redford had cupped the side of her face appearing to be sad.

Jim drifted over to Neferit's side and when he did, he could foresee her future (which was odd).

"Hey." Jim said.

Neferit looked over to see a man in a science uniform wearing a pair of glasses, he had bright blue eyes, and blonde hair standing beside the captain's chair. This young man reminded her of the historical pictures of Captain James T. Kirk. 

"Hello." Neferit said.

"Don't be scared," Jim said. "It is going to be okay."

"I have big shoes to fill." Neferit said.

"Not at all," Jim said. "You don't have shoes to fill."

Neferit sighed.

"Easier for you to say," Neferit said. "Three weeks."

"My advice: savor any moment of it." Jim said.

"My time on this ship would be a footnote,"  Neferit said. "Commander John Tree, Commander Elizabeth Meadow, Commander Peter Bell, Commander Ernestine Miller, Commander Jacob Rick, Commander Richard Speller, and Commander Sterek have made more impacts out of the many first officers Mr Spock  had. I am well aware dying comes with the job. . . but so soon after getting the rank? It is like being first officer is being a red shirt."

"My name is James Thomas Kurk," Jim said. "But call me Jim."

"What is your rank?" Neferit said.

"Lieutenant." Jim said.

"I used to be Lieutenant Commander," Neferit said. She held her hand out. "Science Officer."

"Me too." Jim shook her hand.

"I never met you on this ship." Neferit said, looking at Jim oddly.

"I am just visiting," Jim said, tilting his glasses upwards. "Mr Spock signed off. I am from the _USS Pavel_. At one point I was promoted to first officer.  A period of time later I was demoted back to Lieutenant Commander, a rank I am very comfortable with, and very much prefer. So I believe I have experience to tell you a very cliche line. With great power comes with great responsibility. But don't let it corrupt you or scare you. Your duty is to the ship and to the captain. You will make a fine first officer, Commander Neferit."

"Thank you." Neferit said.

Jim smiled back at her.

"You are welcome." Jim said.

Jim put one hand on her shoulder with a reassured expression on his face then left the bridge.

* * *

Spock sat at the chair listening to the sudden influx of messages he had received.

One message from Chekov and Sulu.

One message from Uhura.

One message from Winona Kirk (who was still alive and still looked strikingly good for her age). Why is it that on the week that he nearly died did people who he had never heard from in forty-three years send him messages? Pike had died two decades ago. Most of the admirals Spock had known in the era when everything was still being said and done were gone. They were replaced by a newer set of Admirals. New president of The Federation. New Captains. New Rear Admirals. The rank of Commodore was being phased out and replaced by Admiral ranks.

These messages that were sent to Spock?

They related to forgiveness.

* * *

"Captain," Neferit said, as they were hiding under a bush. "May I ask?"

Spock looked over in the direction of Neferit.

"Ask away." Spock said.

"Why did you not introduce James Thomas Kurk to the science officers staff?" Neferit asked.

Spock and McCoy all stared in the direction of Neferit.

"What did he look like?" McCoy asked.

"A lot like Captain Kirk except he was in science officer uniform and wore glasses."  Neferit said.

McCoy was speechless.

"We were visited by the afterlife." Spock said.

"That can't be. He was . . ." McCoy said. "But ghosts cannot . . . Oh to hell with it."

"What?" Neferit asked,confused.

"There is no one by the name James Thomas Kirk, Commander," Spock said.

Neferit froze as her eyes widened. There was a child's scream from the distance as a group of reptiles were carrying children from a beaten path. Spock took his phaser out with a look of intention. There was tears being shed by the children. Neferit took her phaser out too.  Security officer Robinson and Security officer Harold took theirs out as well. This planet was recently discovered on their way back to Earth.  To their solar system. This planet was called Abductia because of the ritual carried out every ten years by a alien race using it for nefarious purposes.

"Ensign Robinson and Lieutenant Robinson, take out the Reptilia at the back," Spock said. "The commander and I will take the front."

"Yes sir." The two men said.

* * *

"Ambassador?"

Spock looked in the direction of a fairly young dark man with light brown hair. He was in a science uniform. He looked familiar. He resembled a young John Tree in his mid thirties  except he had brown eyes rather than green eyes. Then it occurred to him that this was Horatio Tree. It had been a decade since he had last seen this young man.  He had Lieutenant Commander pips on his neck collar.

"Mr Tree." Spock said.

"I am part of your security detail." Horatio said.

Spock raised a dark eyebrow.

"Security detail?" Spock said.

"Affirmative." Horatio said.

"That is illogical. There has not been any threats on my life in twelve months, two days, two weeks, three days,two hours,and thirty-two minutes," Spock sounded to be baffled. "What kind of security risk is on Symbelien?"

"Well the Hodgeins have made undisclosed threats to the diplomatic crew," Horatio said. "You didn't hear that from me."

"I did not," Spock said. Very familiar with the Hodgeins. They were never trusthworthy unlike the  Ferengi's. "I heard it from a parrot."

There was a smirk on the man's face.

"Would you like to hear the story of your father saving the princess of Mahalendor?" Spock offered as they continued the walk in the hallway that people in it.

Horatio's eyes widened.

"My dad was a knight?" Horation asked, in shock.

"He was knighted afterwards," Spock said. "Complete with shining armor."

"Tell me all about it." Horatio said.

"Since you are old enough to hear it." Spock said, as a faint smile grew on the Vulcan's face.

* * *

Decades passed. Klingons joined the Federation. Romulans followed afterwards. It took decades to repair the damage that had been done by Nero. Finally, for what seemed to be the first time, Star Fleet had returned to its friendly exploring attitude. It allowed families on the explorer vessels. Four starships bore the name _Enterprise_.  McCoy had walked in the halls of one. Spock walked in the halls of the _Enterprise C_ before she went on into space. Spock passed away on New  Vulcan. Jim had personally greeted Uhura, Chekov, Scotty, and Sulu upon their death. Scotty was happy to see Freenser who had been waiting patiently over a hundred years for him.

New Vulcan had become a populated planet with a lot of Vulcans, safe to say.

The Vulcan population was no longer categorized as endangered.

McCoy had been on his last leg.

It has been twenty-three years since Spock had passed away. McCoy was on a drug that was failing him treating the 'broken-bond-human/Vulcan-syndrome'. He was in hospice care. He was surrounded by his great descendants. One of his grandsons, a fully grown man, had a fair and strong resemblance to  McCoy when he was about his age sitting on a chair with a little boy on his lap. The little boy was holding the old man's  hand. McCoy smiled back at the little boy. Jim leaned his side against the wall.

Jim could sense McCoy was the moment that he would expire.

"Hey Bones," Jim said. "Long time no chat."

"I have to go now,kids," McCoy said. "Don't leave the tea boilin'."

"Bye bye." The little boy said.

McCoy got up out of his body looking very, very young. Young as he was forty-eight years ago complete with star fleet uniform.

"Bones!"

Jim caught the doctor into a hug crashing him to the ground with a thud. 

"Damn it,Jim!"

Jim laughed getting himself back up.

"Welcome to the dead, Bones," Jim said. "Didja miss me?"

The doctor frowned back at the young man as he stood back up.

"You put me through hell!" McCoy said.

"I take that as a yes." Jim said.

"And we saved the world more than you did!" McCoy said.

"First thing you do is complaining and bragging?" Jim said.

"Hell yes." McCoy said.

"Well  Bones, I did more than you did." Jim said.

"Ever saved a entire race of space whales?" McCoy asked.

"No." Jim said.

"I win." McCoy said.

"This is not a competition, Bones." Jim said.

"Like you said about transporting translucent jellyfish to different planets under a time limit." McCoy said.

"You got me. Are you ready to move on?" Jim asked.

McCoy looked over to see a bright light then back to  Jim.

"Is Spock there?" McCoy asked.

"No." Jim said.

"Then I am not goin'.  Heaven is with Spock. If he is not there, then that is not Heaven," McCoy put his hands on Jim's shoulders. Then a smile grew on the doctor's face. "I have to go."

Jim was left dumbstruck as the doctor went toward the door.

Bones had changed, a lot, obviously.

Jim decided right then and there what to do with himself.

Not like Jim  had anything to do in his personal heaven.

"Bones, wait!" Jim called after McCoy following him.

* * *

Due to what happened a hundred so years ago, Star Fleet made two other Vulcan colonies. They did not want history to repeat itself and leave Vulcans at their vulnerable nearly to extinction state. Spock was part of the unification process between Vulcans and Romulans, getting over their bitter differences, bonding over their ancestry, and getting over the paranoria. Some Romulans could not let go of the paranoria. Spock came across Nero in his travels but a little less vengeance fueled. Nero was happy.

Nero had his wife, his crew, and family.

Spock had neither.

Sarek refused to have his katra taken into the second hall of thought.

Spock accepted his decision, his alone, for it will benifit the new generation of Vulcans.

* * *

**. . .2410. . .**

There was a female Vulcan named T'Vien in the middle of a delimma. Logic could not help her in this situation. He didn't know what to do. It had occurred to T'Vien to ask the katra of the ones who had more relationship knowledge than she had. She was torn between going through Kolinahr and bonding with a human female. She had permission to visit the second hall of thought. She was assigned to the _USS Spider_ as as a Lieutenant Science Officer.  Her ideal mate was the communication officer Emily Compenstate.

Emily and T'Vien had set the date for the bonding ceremony.

She needed help.

"Greetings."

"Greetings."

"I am in need of enlightenment, Mr Spock."

"I sense you are troubled."

". . . .Yes."

"Why did you come to me?"

"Most of the other Vulcan's minds here could not give me the advice I need. They have not. . . attempted to bond with someone of the same gender."

"My advice to you is to not abandon the human  you are bonding yourself to."

"Why?"

"The last time I abandoned one, I lived with the mistake for the reason of my lifetime. If you abandon them and they are not patient to wait for you, they may jump into another universe where you do not share the same moment and sticking to their side no matter what even to the point of bonding with the other you until the other you died. Logically, you must not make my mistake. You must go through the bonding ceremony.  The mistake I had. . .  haunted me."

"But you lived for one hundred fifty-eight years."

"Indeed."

"You were alive for that long and the mistake haunted you."

"You may be asking yourself how I survived my first pon-farr. A friend of mine helped. We shared a bond that could have been with the one I betrayed. And should have been," _T'Vien could see the image of a wrecked Spock in his bedroom holding a chocolate bar in one hand with his back against the wall. The door to his room opened to reveal a familiar figure._ "But even when the bond was severed . . . it lingered between us for the rest of our lives."

_There was another scene of Spock and McCoy down on their knees comforting one another feet away from the Guardian of Forever._

"Doctor McCoy."

_There was another scene of Spock catching McCoy into his arms and falling down the hall of the sideways Enterprise A._

"Affirmative."

_There was a scene of McCoy taking Spock's hand._

"Your exploits with him are legendary. Even though you did not bond with the one of your life, you found another, and you didn't make the same mistake." If Spock had eyes then he would either be rolling them or closing them briefly. He couldn't decide. "Perhaps I should make this mistake--"

"Negative,you should not."

_There was a scene of Spock watching his mother fall down into the center of Vulcan with his hand out reached._

"Why?"

_There was another scene of older Spock and Older Khan now mere feet away from each other_.

"You will be carrying heartache and a weight on your shoulders for the rest of your life. Do you want that?"

T'Vien did not hesitate.

"Negative."

"Come to me when you need actual advice to use on the field."

"Live long and prosper."

"Peace out."

"Excuse me?"

Spock had a low laugh.

"It is a Terran phrase. Ask your girlfriend what it means."

"I will."

Then T'Vien disconnected from the mind meld. The great hall of thought had two types of katra holders. One was the infinity computer matrix with endless space and memory hence the name 'infinity computer'. The second was the katra concealers with statues of what could be referred to as the faces of the deceased Vulcans. Some Vulcans preferred to do actual mind melds rather than doing a mind meld with the infinity computer capable of projecting one's mind into the virtual reality to speak with the deceased. It was simple and it worked.

Oddly when she disconnected, Spock could sense that someone had entered the infinity computer.

The infinity computer updated its literary library daily so that the Vulcans would not get bored. Some Vulcans preferred to do meditations rather than reading. Some played their long lost musical instruments replicated from memory. Peace and quiet was enjoyed by many. Though Spock had found it difficult to adjust to serene silence for the past twenty-three years. He had counted the minutes that should be passing when they were not. The environment was programmed to be Vulcan without temperature. If humans were here they would be meddling with it, Spock would get annoyed and deny he was annoyed since it was a emotion. Annoyed Vulcans were never a good thing around Humans. But if it were his old friends that would be a different story.

So Spock had taken the liberty to make his area as un-Vulcan as possible. Green grass and a technological house. Spock  undressed save for his outdoor pants, put sun screen on, then went outside where his lawn chair rested, and promptly turned on a radio set on a stool beside it. Some would call him the most rebellious Vulcan there ever was in the afterlife. So young at heart and young by spirit. To a average Vulcan Spock appeared in his prime. The one where he first became commander of the _Enterprise._ One where he faced off the bad of the bad and the good of the good saving people while at it. Saving Earth not once but many times. The infinity computer updated its music banks daily uploading the new songs. Spock could stare at the sun for as long as he wanted.

It wouldn't affect his eyes.

Spock, apparently, enjoyed being dead.

No need to eat or sleep.

Spock could not get hurt.

"Spock, I did not figure you for a rebellious Vulcan." There was a snicker following the comment that sounded so close but so far away.

Spock got halfway up, his eyes widening, to see a pair of familiar figures headed his way.

_Leonard?_

"Yo' Spock!" Came another.

And that comment made his world brighter.

* * *

 "Sir."

"Yes?"

"Several deceased Vulcans are not where they should be. There has been numerous complaints about this in the recent twenty-three days and four hours."

"What do you mean?"

"They are not there."

"That is illogical!"

"I know."

"Search the banks again."

"I did sir."

"And?"

"You better have a look at this."

The head of the infinity computer followed the engineer to a wide screen television. There were several Vulcans debating about some subject with a brown haired man. They were debating what skipping the majority of a novel would be a bad or good idea.  They were talking about a new novel called the Adventures of  Admiral Darrin Trailer. Apparently this man had read it.

"Who the hell is he?"

"Leonard McCoy."

"AND WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE? WHO'S THAT DARK WOMAN? WAIT, IS SURAK PLAYING CARDS WITH A RUSSIAN? WHAT KIND OF ALIEN IS THAT? WHAT THE HELL? WHO'S THE BLONDE KID IN THERE  SHOWING THE PHILOSOPHER SPOCK THE REPLICA OF THE ORIGINAL _ENTERPRISE_? WHY IS AMBASSADOR SPOCK NOT REACTING TO THE SHEER DISTURBANCE AND SMILING AT THIS SITTING IN A LAWN CHAIR BESIDE THE ASIAN FELLOW DOING THE SAME THING?"

The engineer appeared to be bewildered.

"What people?"

"Over damn there!"

The engineer tapped on the screen moving it to the direction the head had pointed in.

". . .Oh. Wait. What? How did they get in there?"

"I don't know how but they need to be taken out."

"Sir, if we do that then all of the Vulcans will leave."

"Damn logic."

There was a look of realization in the engineer's eyes.

"Uh, sir, that's the crew of the  _Enterprise_. No wonder Ambassador Spock is happy."

"They better stop this party."

"Sir, there could be a advantage to this."

"Hm?"

"You know how most Vulcans come in here have not heard of fun?"

"Fun is illogical."

"But follow me with this. There could be some interesting debates going on there and the Vulcan's could both learn and enjoy this annoyance."

"If they get caught up in there--"

"They won't."

"You have an idea?"

"Four hours per day."

The two Vulcan's babbled as the scene moved forwards toward the screen where inside we can hear music playing. Tolerable Vulcan music that fit the scene. Everyone appeared in this very scenery appeared to be enjoying what they were doing. Spock now was chatting with Sulu as they were both aware that in fact this was greatly annoying the Vulcans on the plane of the living.

And there was nothing the living could do about it.

It seemed this could go on for a eternity.

**The End**.

**Author's Note:**

> I was left unable to continue and had no idea how to transition to the death scene shortly after writing 'both sides of the equation'. So after deleting the story and moving the entire story to deleted scenes, I decided to return at it after evaluating why I chose to write it. I hope you were able to enjoy this story. Also, thank Neferit for writing a story that inspired this storyline. :)


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